Like an Anchor

I have been resistant to this job process. I am terrified of people, I am terrified of failure, and I am scared out of my mind by frogs. Okay, so the last one has nothing to do with job hunting. But you have to agree, frogs are scary. With their bulgy eyes, slimy skin, and erratic jumping patterns....blah. I digress.

Today I applied for two jobs that felt different. I don't know if it was because I have some experience in this particular field, or some other reason, but it felt...right, to apply for these jobs. The positions I've applied for involve working with special needs adults or children, depending on the job. I could either be teaching kids with autism, or helping adults with disabilities to live their lives. Either would be fine with me. I was resistant to applying for these sorts of jobs at the beginning. I felt a lot of fear when I was younger, working with/for people with disabilities. I was around 16 the first time I worked with adults. I was younger than my client, and was out of my comfort zone. I felt I had no control over any situation, and because I couldn't react to things emotionally, I felt constricted. I feel that, with four years of various life experience, I could be very good at working with adults or children with disabilities. It feels like this is something I'm supposed to be doing. Just wait, if I don't get either job, I'm sure I'll have changed my mind on this whole subject.

Teaching also seems to be weaselling it's way into my life. First Sunday school, then the Junior Kindergärtners (spell check put the umlauts in), and now the chance to teach kids with autism. Is this a sign? Do signs exist? And why do they only seem to show themselves when you're not looking?

So, like an anchor being pulled up from the ocean floor, I am slowly readying myself to head out to sea. I'm not quite to the surface yet, but I'm getting there. Adult world, here I come.


P.S. Grandpa W, Mom will hopefully be stopping by the shop to pick up the vacuum. Thanks again!